7 Things About Me

Gary Moneysmith — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 00:25:48 +0000

In the spirit of social media, here are 7 things about me that you probably didn’t know:

My great-grandfather was the Prime Minister of Slovakia in the 1940’s, just before Russian occupation forced his family to flea to the Vatican City (Italy) for refuge. He was a prominent Roman Catholic so Pope Pius XII gave his family (including my grandmother) a place to live during the turmoil. After a harrowing, 3-week escape from Slovakia, the family finally made it to Rome where my grandmother met my grandfather, also a refugee. At the time, my grandfather was the poet laureate of Slovakia. During his escape, he heroically helped his best friend (a priest) with a broken leg over the Alps to safety. My grandparents got married in St. Peter’s cathedral and went on to have an oldest son named Peter, my step father. Kind of a long story to condense into a paragraph, but you get the gist. Sadly, I have no blood relations with this side of my family and I know nothing about Slovak culture except for their amazing food. Today, my grandmother and aunt work furiously to publish books from my great-grandfather’s personal diaries to correct over 40 years worth of lies and inaccuracies.

I can solve a Rubik’s cube. My slightly autistic nephew taught me during Christmas vacation. He can do it in less than 2-minutes. It takes me about 15-minutes.

I worked on a camera crew in 1996 Atlanta Olympics. I ran the point-of-view camera that was inserted into the bullseye of the archery targets. They were super high speed cameras that only captured 2-3 frames of arrow video as they pierced the target. We blew out 4 cameras from direct hit bullseyes during the gold medal round.

I’ve seen a ghost. Seriously. Mind you, I’m about the most normal dude you’ll ever meet. I go to church. Have a wife & kids. I balance my checkbook every week. Pick up the dog poop, hope that it’s hard (thanks Joe Walsh). On a hot summer night in July 2002, I awoke to see a young woman waving goodbye while holding a baby near my bedroom closet. There was nothing fuzzy about it; it was distinct. My reaction was very matter-of-fact: “Fuck me. Our house has a ghost. Oh well, I’m a good person so I have nothing to worry about.” I told no one for obvious reasons. The next night, I awoke to see a man, also waving goodbye. I either willed myself back to sleep or passed out. Seven days later my sister was murdered by her husband, effectively orphaning her infant daughter and 2 toddler sons. It took me years before I could tell my wife this story. I’ve told no one else (including family) about it until this blog post. While I’ll never understand “how” or “why,” I’m resigned to having a sad peace about the entire situation.

I’ve been in a real Indian Sweat Lodge. A bunch of Athens (Ohio) hippies invited my wife (then girlfriend) and I to “clense ourselves” in a sweat lodge ritual. It basically involve sitting inside a 140-degree, steaming hot tent in the middle of the woods while chanting and banging drums. I sat naked with a river of sweat pouring over my body. It was awful. My wife loved it. Maybe it was because her DAD was the main hippie leading the event!

Crappy Places I’ve Worked
- Golf Course Maintenance CrewStart @ 6am. Weedwack for 8 hours. Clean port-a-porties. Not a great job for a kid allergic to grass. Sadly, I worked there for 4-years.
- Plastics FactoryStood for 8-hrs/night pulling hot, plastic flower pots off assembly lines. A greenish-gray chemical cloud loomed ominously overhead in the warehouse.
- Sporting Goods StoreDuring a college break (6-weeks), I “worked” in a store 8 hours/day and saw less than 10 customers. It didn’t occur to me then, but the store was a front for the mafia. I’d put in a link, but I’m afraid to get whacked.
- Resort HotelAfter graduating from college with honors, I had a hard time finding a job (1993 = recession). I moved in with my grandparents and worked as a bag boy. $1 per bag baby. Oh ya….

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